The Dangers of Entrepreneurship

What they don't tell you about running your own online business, is the amount of time you spend with screens and computers, instead of human interactions. When I wake up, I sometimes find myself staring at the ceiling overwhelmed with the amount of goals to check off my list OR starring trying to figure what I should actually do that day. There’s no one giving you homework and telling you what to do. There’s no accountability. It’s your responsibility. I have had to check myself so I do not become a slave to social media and the opinions of others. I try and meet the needs of my supporters but I find that trying to sell something to them, has caused me to dislike using social media for fun.

I don’t work 9-5, but my income is not steady. I can go to the beach in the middle of the day, but sometimes I go to bed at 3:30 in the morning. Sometimes I have to remind myself to go outside and get some sunlight. Walk to the store so I can interact with other human beings. Take time to stop working and breathe. It’s an uncomfortable feeling to put in 18 hour days and not make any money. Or keep trying new things and still see nothing. Entrepreneurship is about taking risks. Sometimes you put out more than you give, and if you don’t have boundaries for yourself, you can lose yourself in this maze. So don’t think you can quit your job and do the least amount of work. You have to be intentional about separating your business from your self-worth. It is an exciting journey, don’t get my wrong. But it requires so much faith and trust in God and not your work ethic, so you are literally de-programming and unlearning the false values of our education system, and learning things God’s way.

So if you’re like me and you find yourself isolated from time to time, Or trying to figure when you’re going to have a girls night, hoping that you can go on a date, or just go out for a night and skate, just know that you need balance!

Take some time for self care and give yourself a time limit. Write your tasks down for each day of the week, and don’t go over it. Letting your mind and body know that this is still your job and you have a life outside of it.

When Your Past Pops Up!

When Your Past Pops Up

Whenever you're on the verge of shifting your focus, making a great move for God, letting go, and wanting more for yourself, don't be surprised when someone or something from your past tries to pop up!   This is known as a distraction!
The enemy knows that your not as effective when you're leading with your emotions. Sending someone from your past that you had an emotional connection with like your father, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, mentor, mother, or pet, can put you back in the same spot that you tried to leave. But, when this happens, what do you do?
        You Pop Back!  
First- Pop back with the word of God! Say a scripture that you recall from memory, and if not, then get your Bible, get on the Bible App, and say whatever scripture you see!
Second-You brag about how much you have grown and how far you have come. Look at all the progress, growth, and commitment you've put into  protecting yourself!
Third- Show yourself compassion! It's okay to take some time and feel sad for a moment, maybe a day, but make a vow to yourself that after that day, those negative thoughts, and that person no longer have access to your mind.
Fourth- Praise God for the protection! This person, thing, or memory is popping up to distract you and remind you of a hard place, but please know that you don't have to go back! Focus on the present moment!

            It Takes Time
It takes time to get over that disappointment, that hurt, that back stabbing, that rejection, that heartbreak, that loss, that death, that feeling.

Give yourself the grace to feel and HEAL! Healing is the part most people miss! God wants to heal you and do a new thing in you life! A new thing!

Receive that, believe that, enjoy that!

Whose Voice Is Louder?

Sometimes we struggle with trusting ourself, trusting our decisions, trusting our journey. I’ve noticed that when I am not stable in my decision making process , it’s because there’s too many opinions in my mind at one time.

People ask how I am able to have several business, be in graduate school at USC, be a cheerleader, run clubs, work, intern, and write a book, all at the same time!

It’s because God’s voice became louder than my voice.

Most of the time we have 4 select voices that we hear: God’s voice, Our voice, the enemy’s voice, and the voice of others.

Usually when I hear very negative thought that accuse me of not being enough, not being worth, with hurtful words, I KNOW that’s the enemy’s voice. So I can instantly ignore it.

When I think of the words from other people that I have heard or think of the opinions of others , I know that voice is it not my own and comes from the insecurity of being accepted. That’s the voice of other people. 

When I hear several things to check off a list, evaluating the pros and cons of a situation, and working through my fears, I know that’s my voice.

When I hear clear instructions, stand still, become peaceful, and not fidget, I know that’s God’s voice. It is direct, to the point, and it also has some sort of confirmation that I never considered. It does not produce more stress, but more strategy. Peaceful instruction- that’s God’s voice!

I hope you take the time throughout your day to evaluate who is leading your decisions, your relationships, your conversations.

Nothing Works Unless You Do

"Nothing works unless you do."  This quote by Maya Angelou screams "self care" to me. Self care is the act of doing self soothing activities that promote stress reducing symptoms. Self-care is putting yourself first, and making sure to play hard, and not just work hard.

When you don't operate on a full glass, nothing else works. When you are pouring into other people as a performer, mentor, teacher, advocate, parent, or any act of service, it can be draining at times.

Making sure that you are well equipped mentally, spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and physically in essential to achieving your goals.

Self care looks like taking a walk with your dog after coming home from school, eating ice cream with your friends, going to your friends birthday party in stead of staying home and working on the business plan.

Too much of anything is not good.

Write down the 10 things that keep you happy, active, and hopeful. You are worth the personal time.

Nothing works unless you do, make sure you're working at your best!

-JaySoJay

 

Good Grief

Many of you may not know my story.

Since 2014 I have had 6 people in my family die- unexpectedly- back to back. This happened while I'm in graduate school, cheerleading for USC, President and Founder of 2 organizations, and working. Which I'm still doing most of, to this day.

I developed this incomprehensible  fear,  it specifically felt like separation of anxiety. Always on edge, not wanting to lose friendships, sensitive to criticism, always looking at people as if it would be my last time. So much self blame, "Could I have called more, sent texts more, said "I love you more?"

Why did this happen to me? Why me? Why did I go through it alone?

I couldn't find God in this season. I say this because I know He's always there; I just couldn't see Him. I was mad at Him. I did not feel His love. I was offended that He permitted these causalities to happen to me. All of these deaths were unexpected and traumatizing.

Being busy was not a form of distraction, but a form of routine. It served it's purpose, but I got tired. I lost some of my memory, my sanity, my ability to process information, and so much of myself.

I don't know what grieving looks like. I don't know if I have fully done it yet. I feel like I'm a numb.

My behaviors and functioning improved over the past year, since January 2016.

However, this month, and specifically this week,  I told God, "Okay, I'm willing to start this healing process with you on this particular topic." Ironically, this is the same week when I attempted to start doing a devotional plan on the topic of grief. I started the devotional plans and remained consistent.

The next morning,  I was informed that a church member of mine passed away.  I lifted her and her family up and thought of how nice of a person she was. TODAY I was informed that one of my professors at USC passed away as well, and will be taking off life support tomorrow.

Let that sit.

I'm still trying to. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what grief looks like.

Our other professor informed my cohort and I the news, as people walked in the classroom crying. Sitting in the chairs weeping. Passing boxes of tissue around the classroom. And hugging each other during this time of loss.

We unexpectedly lost a great professor , father, son, healer,and human being.

We spent the rest of the class making cards for his 3 year old daughter. Coloring and drawing were extremely helpful. I wrote him a poem and poured my honest admiration and appreciation to him. That's all I have right now. Thoughts. Thoughts for his family, his daughter, his partner, his soul, his students.

Thoughts.

And thoughts for God about how all of this is working? How I should, would , or could be reacting? Thoughts, just heavy thoughts.

-JaySoJay

 

Some Time

I've taken some time.

Some time for me.

Some time to breathe.

Some time to see

That everything that I have,

Sometimes is just for me.

It's not always meant to be shared

Or given away

It's exactly where it needs to be in the right place.

I don't need to loose time working harder, when I could be working smarter.

I don't need to be in competition with anyone because I am GOD'S uniquely made daughter.

He gave me the gift of time.

So I take that time

And sometimes

I don't text back

I don't answer calls

I stay off  social media

I don't go to the mall.

I just take some time.

Some time to get right

So if you haven't heard from me,

I am accepting God's gift

Taking some time to have God get me right.

  • "Some Time" A Poem by JaySoJay
  • All Rights Reserved
  • Copyright JaySoJay 2017

 

"What people think about you, is none of your business"- Mimi English

My mentor, the late Mimi English, always pushed this quote. If people applied this quote to their everyday lives, they probably would not stress about the opinions and judgements of others. They also would not gossip about others or stalk people on social media, because they have embodied this concept. What people think about you is none of your business. 

I encourage you to refuse to take in the opinions, statements, and criticisms  of others, who do not qualify to speak into your life. Not everyone has the privilege of getting to know you, so the weight of their opinion should not even show up on your scale of life. There are three different types of people that most of us have in our lives:

  1. Confidants- These are the people who know us for our successes, failures, highs and lows, and still love us unconditionally and without jealousy. You are there for them, and they are there for you, it is a balanced, supportive relationship. They want the best for you, and have your best interest.
  2. Acquaintances- These are people that you have a friendly , surface level relationship with, and when you talk, it is usually on a professional or academic level. You enjoy their company, but you would not disclose your sufferings, or call them with exciting news. These people like what they see ON you, but they have not actually SEEN WHAT'S IN YOU.
  3. Comrades- These are people who see you as your platform. They know OF you, but they don't know you at all. These are people who are friends or followers on social media, friends of friends, classmates, people you ride the bus with, random people that have seen your face, but know nothing about you.

If someone is not apart of the #1 Confidant position, their OPINION , CRITICISM , JUDGEMENT,  & FEEDBACK DOES NOT MATTER.  Confidants are people you can confide in confidently. You should know that they don't have ill intentions for you, because they know what's inside of you. So when they give you feedback or criticisms, you can take it in as a way for you to improve, without feeling attacked or hated on.

Write down a list of people who are your confidants, there is no specific goal to obtain, just make sure the list is honest and true. Continue to treat yourself and others with kindness, and watch yourself grow. "When a man's ways please the Lord, He will make even His enemies to be at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7

"If you go looking for hurt, you will find it."   - JaySoJay

 

 

Your Character is Your Business!

 

You are a walking business, and your number 1 marketing tool is your KINDNESS. Most people don't think about Kindness as a marketing tool, but it seriously effects how people perceive you and your business. If you are rude, disrespectful, and nasty, why would someone want to work with you or give you their money? Offending people, leaves a bitter taste in their mouths. Not only that, but people may not remember your name, but they will remember how you make them feel, word of mouth spreads fast. You don't want to lose business, before you get to present your brand.

Thus, your kindness is the best form of marketing, branding, and business promotion. Implementing your kindness comes in three essential forms.

  1. Speak to people, before they speak to you!  Don't think that you are more worthy just because someone speaks to you first as if that makes you more popular. People will see that you stand out, because you are kind enough to remember to acknowledge them.
  2. Compliment people genuinely! Share kind words with others. Compliment someone with something that they have, that you actually like. Don't make up something, because it will show up on your face. If they are not wearing anything that is attractive, then compliment their smile, their energy, their kindness, their intellect, their gracefulness, their strength...etc. There are so many things that you can compliment someone on, that will display your kindness and make you memorable.
  3. Listen to people when they speak! Most people do not listen when other people are talking. They are too busy thinking about how they will respond. Take the time to ask someone a question, and then listen to what they have to say. You will hear that most of them offer a service that you can benefit from. Like building your website, catering your event, helping you find a contractor, inviting you to networking events. It's all about listening, and benefiting.

"Stay kind, Stay Humble, Stop Hating On Each Other! "

- JaySoJay